#one of my FAVORITE shows ever. it was so good

[polaris-likethestar]

umm theres a few but thats so true by gracie abrams

not super into it anymore and the last season wasnt great but the umbrella academy brings me really good memories of when i first got into the show

probably writing, i dont do it often but when i get an idea its so much fun

when i feel like im in a sort of movie montage you see when the characters are all having a blast at the end

for me the best self care is finding a good, chapter book/fanfiction and sitting down and giving myself time to read it

probably something candy related or sugary

my friend group from camp last summer

probably the feeling of my favorite stuffed rabbit

maybe going to six flags with my friends

just a few days ago i was watching this show the derry girls, that was so funny i was laughing the whole way through

like i mentioned before, my stuffed rabbit

weirdly, fanfiction even if its the most intense or tragic story it has my comfort characters in it

sadly, havent taken a bath in a while but showers are pretty relaxing for me

graduating from the school im at now (its not until june sadly but i cant wait)

call me basic but pizza, but from specific places

well im writing a chapter fanfic now, im used to doing oneshots but im hoping to finish this longer one soon

when people remember specific things about me and take extra care in me and my interests even if they dont like it

possibly somewhere in my twenties, i cant explain it but it just feels right for me

cant think off the top of my mind but i do remember receiving an anonymous christmas card some years back and my friends all thought it was some sort of confession (it most likely wasnt but it was funny back then)

at the end of fifth grade one of my classmates threw an end of the year party, that has to be one of my best days ever

coffee all the way

that one hyperfixation that will always hyperfixate

yes i have

not sure at the moment to be honest, i have a few pretty close friends however

umm maybe a dark red or a violet

i would love to live in soho in nyc, not sure with who though, most likely one of the friends i mentioned before

no lol i think nature and flowers are beautiful but i dont really participate in gardening

not sure honestly

sometimes, but ill admit, im closed off and selfish as well

umm reading, writing, singing, listening to music, etc

✨soft asks✨

What song makes you feel better?

What is your go to comfort show?

Reading or writing? Why?

Whats your favorite feeling?

How do you like to take care of yourself?

What’s your favorite candle scent?

Who do you feel most like yourself around?

Whats a fabric/texture that’s nostalgic for you?

Best childhood moment?

When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? (or just felt really good afterwards)

Do you have a comfort item? Tell us about it!

What calms you down?

Bath or shower to relax?

Whats something upcoming that you’re excited for?

Comfort food?

What’s something you want to create soon?

How do you feel best loved?

What age in life do you think you’ll feel most yourself at?

Have you ever written or received a love letter?

Tell us about a memory you hold close to your heart.

Tea, Coffee, or hot cocoa?

Name of your favorite playlist?

Have you ever received flowers?

Who is your bestfriend?

If your soul was a color, what would it be?

If you could live anywhere with anyone you want, where would it be and who would you bring?

Do you like to garden? Have you ever grown something?

What are you proudest of?

Are you a kind person?

What do your hobbies look like?

[sinsirellaxx]

ok chat my birthday was a day ago so i gota ask.. slytherin boys celebrating ur birthday? (esp tom pspspsps)

Slytherin Boys – how they would celebrate your birthday

Warnings: None – this actually turned out to be rather wholesome?

A/N: Sorry for the long and sudden break – took me a while to find somewhat of a new routine. And I am so sorry anon – I don't know how old this ask his but anyway: happy (extremely) belated birthday! I hope you had an amazing day! Have fun reading ❤️

Enjoy!

Mattheo …

… who would try to bake something just because he knows how much you love chocolate cake.

… who would almost cry because the finished cake looked borderline poisonous before running into the kitchens to threaten ask the house elves to bake him a cake for you.

… who would surprise you in his dorm after kicking the other boys out and threatening them to hex them if they disturbed you.

… who would be laying on his side on the bed with a bow around his hips and the cake in front of him.

… who would lie about the cake – telling you he made it for you. “Happy birthday, babe. I made this for you.”

… who would smirk as he told you that he is your present, while wiggling his eyebrows and pointing at the big red bow on his crotch.

… who would roll his eyes when you raised your brow at that, quickly giving you your real present before calling you his “materialistic queen”.

Theodore …

… who almost forgot about your birthday. He found out when he saw your girl friends sing happy birthday for you loudly in the Hall.

… who immediately skedaddled out of there, pissed at himself for forgetting your birthday.

… who’d skip classes to go to Hogsmeade (he almost got caught) and buy you your favorite things.

… who’d sneak into the kitchens right before dinner to steal food just so he could prepare a picnic for you.

… whose heart hurt when he saw your angry face until you noticed the picnic.

… who’d brag about him being the best boyfriend and telling you he’d “never forget, amore”.

Lorenzo …

… who would plan a surprise party with all of your (and mainly his) friends on the night before your birthday.

… who’d created a list of presents that you might like – to ensure you’d only get things you like.

… who’d whisk you away after the time hit midnight to give you his present in private – he wanted to be the first.

… who’d dance with you in the privacy of his room, kissing you after ending the dance before leading you back to the party.

… who’d roll his eyes when the party guests called him a greedy b*tch for stealing you away

Draco …

… who would make sure to remind you daily leading up to your birthday that it’s your day, so you better let him spoil you.

… who’d sneak into Honeydukes to buy your favorite sweets, because he wants to be the one to treat you to everything you love.

… who’d insist on picking out the perfect dress for you and make sure it fits perfectly, so you’d look flawless on your special day.

… who’d act like he’s so annoyed when you point out his thoughtful gestures, but secretly feels a bit proud of himself.

… who’d give you a gift wrapped in luxurious paper, telling you it’s not something you can ever buy for yourself.

… who’d be way too proud of how good you look in the dress he picked out for you and won’t stop staring at you all night.

… who’d get a little possessive when other guys look at you, making sure to remind them that you’re his with a sharp look or a possessive hand on your waist.

Blaise …

… who’d be the one to organize the most relaxing and intimate birthday evening, knowing that you just want peace and quiet.

… who would definitely take you out to a quiet dinner at one of the hidden spots around Hogwarts that only a select few know about.

… who’d give you a thoughtful gift that was well beyond your expectations, something sentimental that shows how much he listens to everything you say.

… who’d take a walk with you after dinner, talking about everything and nothing, making you feel like you’re the most important person in his world.

… who’d quietly ask you if you liked the gift, and would be slightly insecure until you reassure him you love it.

… who’d smirk slightly when you thank him and call him your "birthday savior," secretly feeling proud he made your day special.

Tom …

… who’d remind you about your birthday days in advance because he doesn’t forget important dates, even if it doesn’t seem like it.

… who’d act like he couldn’t care less about celebrating, but when the day arrives, he’d still find a way to make it unforgettable for you.

… who would make an effort to give you a gift that only someone who truly understands you could choose – something meaningful, intellectual, and thought-provoking.

… who’d take you to a secluded spot in the castle and tell you how much you mean to him in a rare moment of vulnerability.

… who’d whisper softly, “I trust you, more than anyone else,” as you both share a moment in private, far from prying eyes.

… who would give you a small, carefully selected token that’s symbolic of how he feels about you, something with deeper meaning that you’d never expect from someone like him.

… who’d leave you with a kiss on your forehead, a touch of possessiveness and longing in his eyes before disappearing, making sure your birthday is something only the two of you share.

[cherrycolored-punk]

take a bite out of these

just an updated list of all of my favorite creators so far! I’m sure there will be plenty more added 🖤

thank you for sharing your talent and your amazing creations!

this is a little long so all recs are below the cut !

can also follow my tag #el’s fic recs

Eddie -

crash + fall by @trashmouth-richie - an ongoing soulmate AU series about my favorite freak that I’m already so very in love with and is written so beautifully.

she fucking hates me by @littlexdeaths - I’m still foaming at the mouth over this bully!Eddie x reader fic. it’s so fucking hot and I don’t think I’ll be over it any time soon (or ever).

after hours by @hellfire--cult - I am fairly new to the omegaverse and holy fuck what an introduction this was. I love a dominate Eddie and oh my god did Roe deliver.

sailor’s delight by @dr-aculaaa - this fic made me YEARN in a way I wasn’t prepared for. Drac is an amazing writer and I just wanna live in this little world they created.

let's go, don't wait by @carolmunson - the fic that has me questioning why none of my online dates have ever been this good. I fucking love this story so much, just wanna live in a world where teacher!Eddie falls in love with.

daylight by @abibliophobiaa - while I tend to stay away from pregnancy!AUs, this one had me hooked. It's cute, sweet, hot. I need a dad!Eddie stat.

twenty-four hours / coffee shop blues by @ghost-proofbaby - ghost is hands down one of my favorite Eddie writers. She writes him in a way that makes me fall in love time and time again. as a bonus, if you're a fan of astarion, she's written the moon will sing (i love you like the sun) which is just as beautifully written as the rest of her works.

the biology tutor by @mrsjellymunson - I binged this in a day, the premise and the smut were so damn hot that I couldn't get enough.

everlong by @andvys - this was my first introduction to andy's work and it has remained a favorite ever since. has so many amazing stories but there's something about a secret relationship behind Steve's back that gets me.

the yes policy / wish you were here by @pinkrelish - the way I lost sleep reading through both of these fics. I love the worlds that Alyson created and the version of Eddie she gifted us with. I've read them over and over again.

to know you’re mine by @blueywrites - I read through this series in a day, losing sleep may I add, because I was that addicted to it. I will admit, at first, I didn’t think it’d be my jam because of the swinger dynamic but holy shit does Bluey make it both tender and hot at the same time. I almost combusted. I seriously couldn’t get enough. She is an amazing writer and I can’t wait to read more of her work.

for your viewing pleasure / shelter from the storm by @rebelfell - the way Sarah has me absolutely on my knees for Eddie every time I read one of her fics…they genuinely leave me UNWELL (in the best way). like for your viewing pleasure? I was a little unsure at first (would I get jealous over a fictional man having relations with other fictional women?) but then I devoured it. it’s so insanely hot and she is one of the best smut writers on here. and shelter from the storm? pllleeeeasseee Eddie show up on my doorstep to check up on me in a storm. Please offer to get me there.

Steve -

we tried the world / she drives me crazy by @upsidedownwithsteve - if there is an author I equate with a character, it's Emmy with Steve. I was a diehard Eddie girl until I read her stories and fell in love with my favorite dork again and again. All her works are seriously a gift that I always return to.

all i really want is you / colors by @loveshotzz - the first author that made me even consider an older!Steve let alone fall in love with him over and over in every way she writes him. I will never be over either of these fics and re-visit them all the time.

we'll call it love by @superblysubpar - I've said before that this is part of my top ten and still is to this day. I revisit it often, falling back into this world. dreaming of this steve. story is so witty, funny and hot while also remaining tender in many moments. Also, simply the best - the title is pretty self-explanatory because the story is already that…simply the best. It’s ongoing but I am already hooked. I love the Spider-Man!Steve AU and Taylor is an amazing writer so I know it’s only going to keep getting better.

asking for a favor by @wroteclassicaly - this struck me right in all the perfect feels and Kristen has a way of doing that. I have a long to be read list but Kristen is all over it. She's an amazing writer and I love all her angst / smut.

Jonathan -

rise and shine by @eiightysixbaby - I hadn’t read a fic for Jonathan before, or really considered it, but man…this fic managed to convert me. Now I need him in the biblical sense.

Billy -

no charge by @hellfire--cult - oh. my. fuck. what a fast conversion this was to a Billy fan. Jaw on the floor, wondering why I don’t have a hot hot hot Billy knocking on my floor to give me the ultimate striptease plus 8 inches extra.

honey honey by @pastel-pillows - speaking of my fast train to a Billy fan, this is the fic that really started it all. He is so sweet in this, and I just ache for a soft Billy since reading this amazing fic.

@boltedfruit

@selineabanto

@xgumiho

@tubesock86

@stervrucht

@toktopus-art

@donttellunclesam

@littleststarfighter

@tellme-astory

@jemmacdraws

@obligatedart

@strangergraphics (graphics / headers / dividers)

@hugdealer (some of my favorites edited photos of Eddie)

@freckledjoes (photos / gifs)

@werewolfnat (formerly kingofscoops)

@djo

@steveharringtondaily

@batty4steddie

@emziess

most, if not all, of these are Eddie coded

you know I can eat you better than he can

getting hate fucked on your crushes bed by his best friend

post campaign pleasure with your dungeon master

your bully finds out you have a crush on him

[dangermousie]

Top Dozen cdramas - 2024

This can obviously change but nothing truly exciting looks to air for the rest of the year so that's unlikely. My Top Dozen for the year are likely be set in stone.

It's a very idiosyncratic list which has two mini dramas, three moderns (!!! for me that's insane) and a lot of vibes dramas.

12 Hard to Find - all vibes all the times. A tragic romance that feels like a Gothic fairytale, this is what minidramas could be.

11 Love In the Desert - out of all the dramas on this list, this is the one that screams most "a good time." It's a romance and visual feast and webnovel madness and sexy good time and it made me cry.

10 Fortune Writer - a mini that is so smart and meta and fun about narratives and fate and villainy and fighting the story itself. So clever.

9 Derailment - a puzzle and a love story, telling most anything about it would be a spoiler but this story about a rich girl from 2025 who seemingly wakes up in a parallel universe in 2023 in body of a poor doppelganger, and the young man who was in love with the original has everything including addressing what it must feel to people to have a transmigrator possess a loved one.

8 Tender Light - the ending was just - it's the reason it's not n1. But the rest of this drama about an abused wife and an idealistic young man refusing to bow to societal pressure was just exquisite. It addresses morality and loneliness and complicity and sacrifice. Just incredible. Poetry in motion.

7 Will Love In Spring - a modern romance cdrama? In my list? Is the world ending? But seriously, this is such a gorgeous, realistic yet intense exploration of love and loss and trauma. It made me utterly reevaluate Li Xian to boot.

6 Snowfall - this is such a fever dream of a mood piece of a vampire romance, with seriously BDSM and gay vibes, as well as utterly incredible canon age gap ride or die OTP with Ouyang Nana bothering to act for the first time in her life and Vengo Gao embodying a gentleman vampire to perfection. Li Muge remains one of my favorite directors for a reason.

5 Heroes - the story of three very different men all consigned to the dustheap of history by changing times (the best swordsman in the era of guns, a former imperial guard of a regime about to be overthrown, a constable obedient to obsolete code who studied for imperial exams which got abolished) as the Qing dynasty is about to fall, this has fights, humor, three (!) separate love stories, philosophy and utter and complete heartbreak. The performances, the ideas, the filming and the writing all combine to make a bleak masterpiece with a 99% death rate (I am not kidding, only tertiaries make it out.) If I were in charge, it would get all the awards.

4 The Legend of Shen Li - the one truly mainstream idol costume hit on the list. It's an adult, passionate xianxia that reunites Zhao Liying and Lin Gengxin as deities and battle powerhouses in a love story that is so full of yearning and passion and intensity I feel like peeking through my fingers. This is everything xianxia romance tries to be and almost never is. This just might be my favorite xianxia of all time, tbh.

3 Eternal Brotherhood - a dark horse whose existence I didn't even know about before it aired. Visually stunning despite its tiny budget, this narrative about three sworn brothers in a kingdom and world in crisis, is pitch perfect in its humor, its intensity, its tragedy and its themes (also THREE!!!! amazing love stories despite not being a romance-centric show.) The battles, the friendships, the traumas, the darkness at the heart of it all!

2 Fangs of Fortune - the sole drama that can rival JoL2 for me (only caveat is it's still airing), this is visually the most jaw dropping drama I've ever seen, but it's also high fantasy the way it should be - making me feel so immersed that stopping feels like coming up from a deep dive or waking up from a hypervivid dream. It has impeccable performances (many from actors who I don't normally even like), and its plot and relationships and themes - fate and sacrifice and choice and found family bonds and trauma and so many other things - make it feel as if it was made just for me.

1 Joy of Life 2 - THE drama of 2024 for me. It's somehow better than the incredible first installment. It's funny, it's heartbreaking, it has insane performances, a narrative that hits all my personally favorite themes (a person trying to remain human in an inhuman world, righteousness not being weak), a large cast of fascinating characters who feel like they live in front of me (there are no throwaway roles in this), my favorite ship of the year (though it's not even a ship-centric show) and above all, Zhang Ruoyun's live wire of a performance as Fan Xian, arguably my favorite cdrama character of all time. It should not work yet it does. Brilliantly.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hopefully this doesn't come off as snarky, but I find it genuinely hilarious that every "big-name" Leona fan that I've seen seems to like him against their will lol. I've always had Leona as my favorite, so it's fun to see the journey other people go through to liking/appreciating him!

Look 💦 I can’t speak for other L*ona likers (regardless of size, honestly; I'm a firm believer that one's level of internet fame isn't a factor in the devotion for a character) but for me—to quote Scar—“my words are a matter of pride.” And by confessing to (ick 🤢) LIKING LION… it’s throwing all that pride out of a window. It seriously does feel like these feelings exist against my will.

I have a summary of my story to explain my relationship with the lion lore 💀 I call it a summary, but it’s still kind of long— It's below the cut for those who are interested!

To begin with, the promotional materials didn’t sell me on him. Everything about how he initially presents—from his arrogance to his “tough/bad boy” design (seriously, that biker-cowboy combo of his dorm uniform is SO ugly and shows way too much skin for my liking…)—was so unappealing to me. He seemed exactly like the kind of character and tropes I tend to dislike. The only “good” thing I saw in him was his face (which, ironically, is what Vil says about him) and maybe his UM chant particularly the line where he demands you kneel before him. Then comes along book 2, which is easily the weakest of the main story and does a HUGE disservice to him, making L*ona seem a lot stupider than he actually is. At that point, I had basically written his entire character off. I claimed to all my Twst friends that there was nothing that would ever make me like him.

Around 2022, I decided to get involved in a round of EBG (Epic Bias Game) which is basically like a test of your will?? You’re supposed to compete with your friends to see who can go for the longest without talking about or acknowledging their oshi (which includes not being able to react to fan works of them). As part of EBG, each participant was randomly assigned a “new oshi” to replace the usual one AND GUESS WHAT, I GOT HANDED L*ONA BY THE WHEEL OF FATE 💀

One of my friends (who knew I hardcore hated him at the time) assured me that this would get me to change my mind. They even went out of their way to write a little story explaining how my OC was forced to spend more time with L*ona, which led me into writing interactions between them to build more of the lore. I managed to outlast the friend in EBG, but didn’t win the entire game. I came out of it not really feeling super different about L*ona, but I think forcing myself to write about him extensively helped me gain a little more perspective on his character. I still didn’t like him, but I at least appreciated his presence in the cast a little more.

AND THEN TWST HAD TO COME AND BASH ME OVER THE HEAD WITH L*ONA CONTENT… All the little vignettes and voice lines where other characters would talk about what a good leader he is (*glares at Epel, Jack, Ruggie, Savanaclaw mobs, etc.*), when he sarcastically claims to be a “delicate prince” or a “lost child”, those moments where he sasses others, times when he’s able to use his charisma and/or intelligence to pull ahead, rare instances when he whips out his royal manners, him respecting women… But I think the turning point for me had to have been book 6 OTL GOOD LORD, BOOK 6 FUCKED ME UP 😭 Him using his UM in a creative way to turn falling glass shards into harmless sand? And strategically turning himself in?? Willingly ceding control of the dorm to Ruggie??? Telling everyone about Styx’s lore???? AND THE BEEF HE HAD WITH JAMIL BUT STILL GIVING HIM WISDOM AND ADVICE… Sometimes I still tear up thinking about how L*ona says “You’re not like me,” to Jamil 😔 implying that part of the reason why L*ona guides others is because he has hope in their futures but not his own… (I’m still salty that EN messed up this line by changing it to “I’m not like you,” which makes him come off as way more arrogant 💦) Anyway, I blame book 6 for being the tipping point in my downward spiral 🌀 IT GOT WORSE IN BOOK 7 WHEN HE STARTED SHOWING HE'S MOTIVATED TO ACTUALLY GRADUATE AND TAKES ON AN INTERNSHIP THAT COULD BENEFIT HIS COUNTRY... Special shoutout to the Club Wear card for being especially hot-- I did my best to hold out against the steady drip of content that called attention to his… positive traits… (Not that I’m saying he doesn’t have any; I mean this in that whenever his strengths as a character are brought up, they really get to me as someone who loves intelligent, mature/responsible types and “big brother” figures OTL) BUT IT'S SO HARD WHEN TWST KEEPS PULLING STUFF LIKE THAT???

Then in 2024 came the stupid Lost in the Book with Nightmare Before Christmas event 💀 which finally introduced us to L*ona in full formal attire (MY WEAKNESS) and gave him the opportunity to be in the role of the "hero" and leader... and those Nightmare Suit vignettes 😭 Leona thinking about what it actually means to be "king"... Ugh, it was another strong showing of his character. I'm pretty sure it was this event that started the snowball of my friends (lovingly) bullying me about him and calling me a tsundere about it. Weirdly enough, a BUNCH of things started happening irl to push L*ona at me too. For example, my pet (who usually actively avoids or attacks Twst stuff) was actually eager to pose for a picture with a L*ona standee. In a group fan merch order, I had asked for the bonus Grim sticker but the artist (who had no idea about my complicated thoughts on L*ona) said they were out of the Grim sticker but they had L*ona stickers they could include instead. Most recently, I had just finished this last-minute artwork of Miss Raven eating pocky by herself to celebrate Pocky Day (11/11). Typically the fan art you'd see on this day would involve two characters playing the "Pocky Game" (in which the players try to eat a stick of pocky from either end; usually it's framed as romantic since meeting in the middle results in a kiss). However, I had chosen to do a solo Miss Raven art because I thought this suited her "I want to be taken seriously!" personality better. Well, guess what? I GOT A PACKAGE DELIVERY NOTIFICATION FOR THE TWST MERCH ORDER... WITH L*ONA IN IT 💀 Almost like he heard there was food meant for sharing and he came to claim it for himself... Like I literally did NOT choose for these things to happen to me, THEY HAPPENED ON THEIR OWN. I DON'T BELIEVE IN PREORDAINED EVENTS BUT THE UNIVERSE SURE IS WORKING IN STRANGE WAYS.

So now that the tables have turned, it’s really embarrassing. Everything is coming back to bite me in the butt… It truly feels like L*ona plotted this all along and was on the prowl, patiently waiting for me to get worn down before he pounces and delivers the final blow to my ego OTL Like, it's gotten to the point where many of my long-time friends in the Twst community are now joking that "It's over" for J word... ONE OF THEM EVEN TOLD ME IT FEELS LIKE I'M GETTING DIVORCED AND L*ONA IS THEIR NEW STEPDAD, HOW AM I SUPPSOED TO FEEL ABOUT HTHAT ??????????? ? ? ????? ? ??? ? ?? ?? ? ???? ?

But by the far the worst, the WORST part about everything here is that if L*ona were fully sentient, he would be so smug about recent developments 😡 It makes me SO mad thinking about how he'd look down on me with that hot smug rage-inducing smirk of his and make fun of me for eating my words so badly.

“What was that you said about hating my guts, herbivore? … Hah, it's written all over your face--you're terrible at hiding your true feelings. You can just give in, you know. Tell me how much you worship me. How much you want me. You'll give in eventually one way or another--so why not make this easier for the both of us and save us the time of playing the wait game? I don't bite, promise." (<- a liar)

(Disclaimer: NOT MY MERCH; this is a L*ona Liker friend’s picture that they’re letting me use as a reaction image 😅)

THIS IS FR MY OVERBLOT ORIGIN STORY…

[jamiepaige]

Constant Companions Closeup #2: NOT QUITE THERE

(also on spotify!)

b-b-back once again

Round two of the Constant Companions Closeups - a series of in-depth dives into the songs off of my latest album, Constant Companions! Yesterday was track one, Dyad - today is track two, Not Quite There, featuring the incomparable telebasher!

This one's a bit of a dark horse relative to the rest of the album, but it may very well be my personal favorite song on the entire thing so dammit let's Yap

---

For the uninitiated, this song pulls heavily from a song off my previous album called Gummyworm, both in vibe and by very directly quoting its synth motif.

Both of these songs deal with two sides of the same emotional coin. I actually don't want to go into too much detail about it - I feel like the lyrics spell things out clearly enough - but I will say this:

When it's all you know, it's easy to believe that a love that isolates you, a love that doesn't respect you, a love that hurts is better than no love at all.

You deserve better. There are always people who genuinely want what's best for you, who want you to feel truly loved. It certainly isn't always easy - it's genuinely good if your interpersonal relationships have a little friction sometimes - but love should make your life brighter.

You deserve a love that's fair.

---

The original version of this song was actually intended to be on Bittersweet alongside Gummyworm. The original concept for that album had a whole heady concept involving duality, songs reflecting each other, the two halves basically being reprisals of each other... Ultimately, I'm glad I scrapped that idea, because it was waaaaaay too much for me to manage after a couple years of barely making music. Maybe I'll revisit it someday though?

The drums on this song are sampled from an Instagram post by Louis Cole, where he's doing this crazy one-handed hi-hat blast by holding a drumstick sideways. I'm a drummer and that shit genuinely scares me a little like i dont know how he does half the things he does its fucked BUT. I bring this up because he's one of my biggest inspirations as a musician! I'm really big on jazz in general, in case my love for spicy chords wasn't enough of an indication, but his specific brand of freaky hyperactive bullshit just does it for me.

Seriously, go watch his band KNOWER play their song Overtime. Absolutely insane performances across the board. also Clown Core

This whole song is really just my attempt at matching some of that hectic jazzy energy with my own style of music, so I figured it only made sense to make it another collab with another musician making delightfully frantic jazz bullshit - the legend herself, telebasher! I really am such a massive fan of her work, and I struggle to think of anyone who plays guitar quite like she does. We previously worked together on another Bittersweet track, Asemic Speech, and her guitar work is a major reason why that song is still one of my favorite I've ever released!! She's just built different like listen to this oh my god!!!!

Lastly, since this song was one of the first written for this entire project... it is admittedly a case of me shoehorning the album's leitmotif in after the fact. It's a little forced when it shows up in the backing vocals! But, the choir of vocal synths during the guitar solo served an additional purpose - my own voice doesn't show up on the album again for another four entire songs, and this would've otherwise been the only song on the entire album that didn't feature any vocal synths. Thus did I attempt to bridge the gap, as it were. Hopefully it makes the final product feel more natural!!

Either way, that's all for today's post.... i think.... which means that tomorrow.... we're gonna rot.... for clout

[lees-chaotic-brain]

CHEESY I LOVE GAM THEY'RE SO GOOD WHEN THEY'RE PERFECTLY RIPE. once you discover the secrets you MUST send them to me. i also love the color lilac too!! and you're actually the sweetest person ever surprising your bestie!!

last song: in the end by lincoln park

favorite color: black/seafoam green/deep bright blue purple but a very specific shade

last book i finished: educated by tara westover

last tv show i watched: while you were sleeping and suspicious partner (they're both k-dramas i'm obsessed)

sweet/spicy/savory: it really depends on the day/my mood

relationship status: in a relationship (not to self-promote but i have a boyfriend blog now @lees-chaotic-boyfriend)

last thing i googled: effect of salinity on contractile vacuole activity (if anyone can answer this question it would be greatly appreciated i'm failing my bio course and google did not help)

current obsession: telling people about the one month backpacking trip in alaska i have planned for the summer. it's always been my dream to hike the appalachian trail (i still plan to, but it's a HUGE time commitment) or something of the sort so i'm super excited!!

looking forward to: gymnastics season starting, meeting up with my bestie (i'm going to see her next week for the first time in five months!!)

no pressure tags: @irisintheafterglow @kimkaelyn @writingcroissant @thelov3lybookworm @ponderingmoonlight

@berryzxx @romantichomicide95 @fieldofdaisiies @moonlightazriel @azrielslittleslut

@m-ilkiee @crescentmoontsuki @book-girl4evaaa + whoever would like to join!!

10 people i’d like to get to know better

tagged by @bubonicbabybell <3

Last song: meat is murder by the smiths

favorite color: orange 🍊

last book i finished: bliss montage

last tv show i watched: supernatural (s12)

sweet/spicy/savory: savory? i honestly dont have a preference

relationship status: single

last thing i googled: stardew valley wiki 💀

current obsession: dead poets society + the sims 4

looking forward to: halloween! and nanowrimo

tagging > @laceyc0bwebs @thelifeofagirl @chiiiiiiiiiiiiiii (i have no other mutuals and am lowkey scared to tag people i follow so sorry this is supposed to be 10)

[zhuoyichenpretty]

Ep 25 Commentary

“難受嗎？難受就對了[...]卓大人，你習慣就好。” Is it difficult to bear? Good [...] Zhuo Daren, you'd better get used to it. —Zhao Yuanzhou, Ep. 1

Oh my god what the fuck ep 25. Ohhh my god. I don't think I ever stopped going "holy shit oh fuck" for the entire forty minutes. My head is in my hands. Why is FoF experimenting with onscreen physical/emotional/mental whump at a frequency and intensity previously unknown to man? To my favorite character? 我前輩子得罪了誰？？(Who did I wrong in my previous life??)

Quote from ep 1 because I had just re-watched it earlier in the day and those words came back to me not with any particular use towards interpretation but just as a characterization of—all of this. It is indeed difficult to bear.

Spoilers incoming.

Also spoiler for how I feel about this episode in case the sound of me wailing in lament in the distance makes it unclear: It was probably one of the most effective episodes for me thus far, personally. It struck many, many chords and did not stop for breath at all.

Honestly I'm kind of at a loss for words because I really, truly, did not expect shit would get so much worse for ZYC so incredibly rapidly. The speed with which the situation deteriorated broke the fucking sound barrier (I'm exaggerating, I'm being dramatic, but jfc I wasn't prepared). I apologize in advance if any of my reactions become a little bit repetitive, there are only so many ways I can express continuous distress and shock and despair.

My stomach dropped during the watchman attack scene. I can't believe how effective it was for me, this moment coming at the heels of ep 24, how that episode was a whole meditation on the goodness of ZYC's heart, his gentle and sensitive nature, the reasons why everyone loves him, the way things are bad but they will not break us and we may lose heart individually but we will persevere together.

And then in one single moment, all of that is threatened and very nearly destroyed. I felt every one of ZYC's dry heaves.

This drama is not one I necessarily go to for subtlety of intention, so the fact that I really had no inkling how at-risk ZYC's irreproachability would be in the coming episode despite being very invested in his arc made it all the more shocking and well-done, personally. They set him up as high as they could so they could tear him down as thoroughly as possible in an instant, and I did not notice the set-up at all.

I also have to say, I really appreciate PSJ. How quickly she cut to the chase about what he'd seemingly done, how she'd said the things that aren't just hard to hear but also hard to say. Because that's exactly what ZYC will care the most about. It seems to me her righteousness helped keep his own intact. In such a moment of complete and utter vulnerability and devastation, her moral clarity is as terrible as it is necessary and true to ZYC's belief system, just when it is most susceptible to collapse. And I say this not to mean that I think he is culpable for the supposed attack, given how much discussion the show goes into about culpability or lack thereof when not in one's right mind, but just that I find PSJ's moral compass to most closely align with ZYC's beliefs as he has been carrying them out throughout the show, and she keeps him from contradiction in a moment when it may be on everyone else's mind to spare him from the double-edged blade of his own righteousness. (Also, I may be reading too far into WX's statement later on that PSJ protected ZYC with her decision, but it could be interpreted that WX agrees or understands that as well on some level.)

And the fucking fact that all this takes place in front of a shrine for the Righteous God of Virtue and Blessing. As I said, I'm speechless.

(Speechless, she says, as she continues to ramble.)

Ouughhhhhh the reversals. ZYZ draping the cloak on ZYC this time. Fuck. The dungeon. Oh god. The way ZYZ loses more and more of his facade of calm, even just from his somewhat tense but understated distress in ep 24 to this unblinking, almost unseeing stare at ZYC in shackles.

Also, I'm glad for the moment PSJ and WX have to themselves once ZYZ proves ZYC's innocence. The way we get to see them navigating a situation so dire together despite its potential to push them utterly apart. PSJ's near-silent delivery of "friend" fucking kills me. It's loaded with so much emotion that neither the voice nor the term can truly handle that weight. That's art to me.

And then oh god, the Tianxiang Pavilion scene. I don't even know what to say. How everything spirals completely out of control. How we literally watch ZYC's worst nightmares play out. WX's first shout, the way I don't feel like I've heard that particular shade of emotion in her voice up until now, even with everything they've been through. Honestly, each of their expressions as the mob began to jeer and before they were separated was so effective. Ying Lei's indignation, PSJ's alarm, ZYZ's agitation, WX's fury. And the palpable panic as the crowd surged around them and pulled them apart.

I've watched this whole scene three times now. Every actor is giving their all here, and it's so impressive because this isn't at all the usual context of their angst and heartbreak. This isn't a decisive battle over life and death. The range of tragedy stretches so far in this kind of fantastical drama and yet they are able to create such tension and emotion that the shock of that first egg thrown has all the impact of a fatal wound. And it's worse in some ways because it means so little to an outsider and everything to this family.

That rage and helplessness in WX as she wipes ZYC's face and asks who threw it, when she says if the crowd goes any further, they'll fight back—her delivery is so raw. When I heard her lines, I felt the fantasy genre completely slip away for a moment and it became absolutely personal. Like, this point is getting a little away from mere commentary so please forgive the brief aside but those are words I can hear in my own family's voices.

Then, watching the very last vestiges of ZYZ's composure fully crumble away in real-time. God, I wish I could say something more substantive about ZYZ's entire reaction because it's so so good but I'm feeling levels of angst I truly don't know how to convey, which is really saying something given how much of an essay I usually write despite claiming I'm speechless.

Just. The way this is the most desperate and near-breaking we have ever seen them, in a completely different manner than the grief that has come before.

Alright, and then, the juxtaposition of the mob and the cheering crowd around ZYC?—yeah, that's when I started sobbing. As I've said before, the effectiveness, the efficiency, of TJR's acting. The way we can read every emotion off of young ZYC's face: his awkward pride, his self-consciousness, his bashful happiness. Even though this is a memory only recently and fleetingly alluded to in the previous episode and this is a ZYC we have never actually met, we know him and all his mannerisms and expressions so well. He is so alive with his character and so familiar, and then we cut back and, god, how unrecognizable everything is now. That absolutely broke me.

Finally, ZYC and Li Lun's conversation. Again, so so good and again, not sure I can offer much substance in my commentary to do it enough justice. I've been writing this commentary for over three hours now, so if my coherence is petering out, I do apologize.

This is so much of what I wanted and didn't even know I wanted from them, simply because they've been kept apart by the plot for so long. To see some of this come to pass is so satisfying. For Li Lun to claw so desperately at ZYC and try to bring him down, what that means about how he views ZYC's role in ZYZ's life right now. That this is twofold, to ruin ZYC and to be understood, and how he can never get the latter if he is still holding onto the former, wanting to pull others into the abyss rather than seeking a way to perhaps be pulled out of it. Li Lun is so precise in his brutality towards ZYC, digging his fingers directly into the worst of ZYC's fears, and yet ZYC is so insanely clear-eyed and incorruptible and incisive with his words in a way Li Lun has never experienced or had to combat (ZYC, articulate king fr). And for all of Li Lun's bluster as he continually makes to take the physical and conversational upper hand, how quickly that becomes a pitiful immaturity when ZYC truly fights back (in defense of ZYZ). Yan An plays this part so well, when he's looking up at ZYC.

And seriously, talk about ZYC delivering just the most on point monologues to struggling characters ever (ZYZ, Bai Jiu, now Li Lun), and doing all that after the day he's had?? To be honest, I don't know what direction this conversation will push Li Lun. I can see it go either way because yeah ZYC just basically rubbed in his face how alone and pitiable he is and how he'll never get what he wants out of ZYC, but at the same time I've never seen Li Lun so close to understanding why he has ended up alone, nor look so desperate enough to not be that he might end up making a different choice for himself. And just as Li Lun is that mirror showing ZYC the darkness of the abyss, ZYC must be reflecting to Li Lun how bright the dawn could be. (Oh the inextricable nature of character foils.) Even though ZYC has denied Li Lun the understanding he wants, he has seen through Li Lun so thoroughly that that is an understanding in itself.

And then oh my god. The reverting to Bai Jiu's voice and body. One of the most top-tier narrative choices ever. Li Lun, deconstructed by ZYC completely, is really so unbearably young in his heartache.

Okay, I think that's all I have to offer. I'm so wrung out, and I apologize if the quality of the commentary declined in the second half, but I hope some of this was enjoyable to read!

[tkwrites]

Okay I'm done now and heading to bed, one last question.

Can you name a favourite fic for each of the boys?

Hi my Lovely,

There are quite a few of your asks I haven't answered, but please know I'm not ignoring them. They'll just take a little more time to respond to.

I can tell you my favorite fics, though:

Matthew Tkachuk - Back To You because it's such a complete story. I love the way he and Jessie meet, lose each other, and then are thrown together by fate again. I also feel like I really captured that sassy side of Matthew's personality in this fic, which I was really worried about at the time I was writing it. This is also the story that I think would be easiest to flesh out into a full length novel.

Nico Hischier - I love all the parts of his story for different reasons, but I think It Doesn't Matter Part II is my favorite. I had actually written the whole sequence of nude sketches for another character, but ended up scrapping the whole story because I couldn't find any real conflict for them to resolve. When I realized I could use it for Nico and Lena if she was an artist, I was thrilled and got to work rewriting it for them. In the end, the only things that stayed the same were 5 of the 6 poses. Getting into and out of them changed, as did the characters relating to each other during them. I love all the longing and awkward tension between them in this piece, as well as how they finally end up confessing their love for each other. Finally, the culmination of all of their longing into the final sex scene? Chefs kiss.

Quinn Hughes - This one is so hard. I've written so much about Quinn and Sarah and I love all of the pieces for one reason or another. If I had to pick three favorites, they would be:

1). Five Days of Joy because I'm so proud of this fic. It took SO long to write, but I love the way it turned out. I love that we go through so many consecutive days and such a gamut of emotions with Sarah and Quinn.

2). The Second Time is Better because I love the portrayal of a more real first time. One of the things that drives me batty about romance novels is how the characters get together and always seem to have this instantly amazing sexual connection. No room for human failing or first time jitters. In reality, it takes time to build sexual chemistry and connection, and I went into this piece wanting to show at least some of that.

and 3). Second Nature because I think it has the prettiest prose. I still think this passage is some of the best writing I've ever done:

This was ultimate flirting in Quinn’s book. Something he knew he could do. When someone wanted to talk about music, or art or classic cars, he was a fish out of water. But talking hockey? He could do that all day long. Convincing someone to like the sport he loved so much? There wasn't a more ideal situation. 

“Oh, good,” she said, leaning forward to kiss him. 

This was a perfect evening. Casual and comfortable. Cooking for someone he - liked, and kissing her whenever he wanted, taking no worry of who might be watching. 

Letting himself get swept up in the kiss, he slid his hands over her hips and tried to commit her scent to memory. No matter what happened - though he was pretty sure nothing bad was ever going to happen with Sarah - he wanted to remember this. She smelled like a dream he’d had as a boy. Like vanilla and warm skin and fireside, summer nights. It was an outlandish notion, but he couldn’t shake it. 

All her life, Sarah had read stories about star-crossed, fated lovers thrown together by chance and circumstance and serendipity. But those were all just stories. Even when her grandpa talked about meeting her grandma - like they were always meant to be together, and just had to find each other to make it happen - it seemed like folklore. A tall tale he spun to make their love story seem more epic. 

After writing all this out, I realized perhaps you meant favorite writing from other authors. Let me know if that's something you'd like me to answer.

[italianpersonwithashippersheart]

Hey bestie, dropping by with a mea culpa. When Peaceful Property started, you expressed concern that GMMTV was inching toward a model of using bl pairs in shows that would avoid being explicitly gay but still draw on shipping fandom to be successful. Coming off The Trainee, which was not a bl but did have expIicitly queer characters and romance subplots, I wasn't sure the intentions were quite that dark for PP, but having now finished it and seen the way some in the production have interacted with shipper fans, I have to call it: you were right to be concerned. At no point was this show ever a bl and none of its principal characters are canonically queer, but they successfully leveraged the TayNew ship to have fans interacting with it as if it was in fact a gay love story, that idea and fan commentary was explicitly encouraged by the creators, and the show has been quite successful despite never actually delivering on all the TayNew bait. I'm definitely concerned that we might have somehow swung back around to queerbaiting being seen as acceptable and good, as long as it features popular branded pairs. I don't have any bigger thoughts to offer about how this should be addressed, but just wanted to come back and say you were valid for naming that!

Thank you. I didn't want to be correct. And I am still hoping to wrong about what this says about where GMMTV is going.

But I am not gonna lie, seeing the posts about the finale did regnite the massive fury I had at this project when it was first called a bromance. So I am going to use your ask as an opportunity to vent.

FOR THE RECORD: I am not mad at you, or at the people and mutual on my dash that have enjoyed the show and are claiming as gay out of spite. My anger is at GMMTV and at GMMTV alone.

THEY DID THIS SHIT TWICE ALREADY!!! Back to fucking back.

I know High Schoool Frenemy is being watched by like 5 people on tumblr. But it's doing well outside of tumblr. They are using bl style fanservice with the 2 main boys of that show. I have seen the shippy content and compilations along with the other bl couples. Not to mention people like Jojo saying those characters are the his new favorite ship on twitter.

AND I AM SO PISSED!!!!

I am glad you brought up TayNew because there is no doubt in my mind that they used TayNew for Peaceful Property as a test. They knew there could be backlash. They knew the bl fandom could have rioted. But they also knew that if it that rage would have been directed at TayNew not at the director, not the company but TAYNEW.

And I think TayNew knew this. Because they spend weeks on social media doing preintive damage control, I have seen the posts of them (or at least New) saying it wasn't going to be romantic. I don't think the two of them forgot how they were left to eat the shit alone over the bullshit backlash during the TayGun kiss situation with GMMTV doing fuck all for them.

And what pisses me off is that BL audience didn't even give a backlash. They eat that shit up like it was fucking icecream.

The BL audience is literally doing their job for them. They are taking a show with some gay subtext and running with it.

They are showing up for the fanservice (again broder audience outside of tumblr), and gleefully closing their eyes and ears and saying well I Think It's Gay.

What do you think Mega Corporation GMMTV is going to take from the success and no backlash? If the answear is anything but: We can produce half of the BLs as usual and make the rest Bromances, you have more faith in corporations then I do.

Because Bromances can be watched by non BL audiences as well. The BL niche is a big one, but it is still a niche.

And now they won't even have to bother inserting arguable quality gay commentary or struggles or homophobia. Or any gay kissing, no more workshops. No more worries about how effective these potential straight boys are going to be at playing gay. All they have to do is making them do fanservice, and they are great at training people for that. Or better yet, actually use one or two ships that have kissed before and done actual BLs.

Will they stop doing BL at all, obviously not, you gotta give the BL audience something to remind them they can still show boys kissing, and we have the Ex Morning and Jojo that will never actually stop making BLs and some gay shit. But if in the next line up we will more bromances, and eventually we get half BL and half bromances I wouldn't be surprised.

Of course maybe I am just pessimistic and cynical. Maybe the proto bdsm in the heart killers is enough to persuade people that I am totally wrong. I guess we will see about that.

Thanks again for the ask and the oppurtunity to vent a little. Again I don't fault anyone for enjoying this, it was design to get the BL audience watching.

I will personally be keeping with my own resolution and never watch another gmmtv show live ever again, maybe binge the few that sound interesting and that's it.

At least I can find comfort in the idea that that other companies do not have the same level of BIG cast of boys and big budget to do the same thing and follow in the bromance trend.

[firstkanaphans]

RE your tags on the bromance thing - I think I allowed myself to get a little panicky earlier when seeing a few people talk about there potentially being more, and whilst there are a few points made that I can understand, I do feel like the amount of worry I’m seeing it maybe a little preemptive?

Like, I do agree that it feels stupid to put TayNew in a bromance series; if they wanted two actors that are close & have worked together before, why not Tay and Off or New and Gun or something? BUT I did see that Tay and New actually wanted to do a bromance series together, so there’s part of me thinking that this was THEIR choice to do this series and not give it to some other actors. (And let’s be fair, I don’t think there’s anyone else who could have made this show so warm, angsty, and lovely.)

I feel like GMMTV has really been embracing their BLs a bit more if I’m honest, and sure, they do queer baiting in their non-queer shows, but who doesn’t? You can watch anything on Netflix or whatever and find ‘bromances’ that are severe queer baiting.

I kinda feel like sometimes people pile on GMMTV a bit much, all because they’re kinda like the biggest company in the drama community that does decent queer dramas? I don’t know if that’s just me being blind to their flaws, but I sometimes think they get a little more hate than other production companies and not always deservedly? (I mean I know they aren’t perfect and I call out their bullshit myself, but I feel like sometimes it’s ‘cool’ to hate on them?)

Sorry if none of this makes sense and I’m rambling - it’s almost 2am and I really need to sleep 🤣

In my opinion, these claims that GMMTV is going to pivot to bromances because they’re less gay and more profitable are absolutely baseless. Bromances are not new to GMMTV. They’re not even new to TayNew as I believe I’m Tee, Me Too was a bromance as well. Like you said, P’Dome explicitly stated that TayNew wanted to film a show together that was not a BL. Should they not be able to? And weren’t these same people complaining just days ago that CPs are never allowed to act outside of their CP? Now, they’re mad when they do.

What people are losing their marbles over is literally just the cast and crew having a good time with the fans. Did they play into the shipping aspect both onscreen and off? Of course they did! What writer worth their salt would have passed up such a perfect opportunity? But to me, it didn’t feel malicious. It felt like P’Dome was just having fun and giving Polcas a little nod. I almost feel like it would have been more strange if he hadn’t.

People certainly don’t have to like bromances, but it’s like We Are all over again where people were saying its very existence was indicative of the fall of the genre as we know it. And that’s just utterly ridiculous. This isn’t a queer story where the queerness was censored. In fact, there were explicit queer themes throughout. This is just a platonic love story and a lot of people who may not be interested in romantic relationships have found immense value in that.

Like I said in my tags, P’Aof is the Director of Content Production at GMMTV, meaning he is literally the one in charge of what content is being produced, and I’m choosing to trust the gay Thai man who has dedicated his career to this. He has such a passion for telling queer stories. Why would he stop now?

But like you said, it’s become hip to hate on GMMTV. And look, I don’t like corporations either, but let’s not pretend like GMMTV isn’t really fucking gay. Because they are. This is not a company that has ever shied away from explicitly queer content and is actually making more of it than ever before, so I’m not going to fault them for adding a few shows for the straights too. And if they have to make het stuff, I would much rather sit through a bromance than anything else.

I mean Jesus Christ. Peaceful Property was fun. I had fun. And it was also really good—easily my favorite offering from GMMTV all year—so if they want to make a hundred more bromances just like this, I’m certainly not going to complain about it. Some people just don’t want to enjoy anything.

(And go to sleep, Pip! It’s late 😂)

[butchbo]

Butch and Bottoming

A femme top seems to be a rare species, so dear Butches, if you ever find yourself in the situation of bottoming for such a fine specimen consider yourself lucky. Me and my girl are both switch vers so this dynamic is one we tend to find ourselves in. My favorite way this fantasy plays out is when She gets to be strong and sadistic and I get to prove how tough I am. Show her how much pain I can take, how much I'm willing to take for her. Giving myself to her entirely, servicing her, riding her, showing how much I desperately need her to fuck me exactly how she wants to. Nothing fulfills me like knowing that I can take all her frustrations and turn them into a shuttering pleasure. My Femme LOVES impact play. She's a strong girl, a drummer so core and arms worked out a lot, she does not go easy on me. Although she has all this strength, shes struggled to bruise me, until recently. She's found that using my collar (a spoon ring she bought me and a chain I put together) to hit me in repeated succession I bruise well. The way her face lit up when she realized that the ring was leaving purple circles on my thighs sent fucking shivers down my spine. What often brings us to the climax of our session is when I get bratty enough to really pull the worst out of her. A strong bite, some spit in her face, or asking "why are you fucking me like a pathetic bitch?" typically does the trick. She works herself up off my words, quickening her thrust, muttering mean, and gritting her teeth, and I'm under her just taking all her anger. The fight ends and I'm holding her small frame, letting her fingers trace over my bruises, her kissing them and me better, telling me how proud she is. I am hers and she is mine and in those moments I am certain of the fact that I can take whatever she needs me to. I am her good butch and she is my protected femme.

[sapphicflower-ao3]

what are ur personal favorite fics? i can be a bit picky and have a hard time finding fics but i love ur writing and i feel like we might have similar tastes based on that :3

i'm sorry it took me like a week to get to this!! i wanted to compile my faves and write notes for each of them... and i went overboard LOL. but thanks so much omg, i'm flattered that you would trust my taste based on my writing!

these are all bkdk obviously :)

i. 'In Case of Fire' - passengerside

post-canon // complete // 11K // E

an absolute MASTERPIECE!!! this author has become a recent favourite of mine, i love the way they incorporate little details into their work and make the mundane so beautiful.

highly recommend all of their other works, especially 'Pacemaker'! so freaking beautiful and fun and the lead up to the confession was a genuine holding-my-breath moment

ii. 'Sun Hands' - yesthisisnarumi

snowboarding AU // complete // 5K // T

i've re-read this one so many times it's SOOOOO good! so fun and so classically bkdk it's insane. everybody say thank you OP for giving us the rival olympic champions to lovers story we needed

iii. 'all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing' - maxisnotokay

UA compliant // complete // 11K // T

i dont usually read a lot of whump but this was brilliant, im a sucker for this specific trope and for LOVE CONFESSIONS YEASS!!! obvi it has a happy ending bc i wouldnt have it any other way. a good length too :)

iv. 'Spinnin' On Our Feet' - sage_and_cinnamon

High School AU // ongoing // 47K // M

UNDERRATED AS FUCK and my favourite ongoing fic right now. i usually dont read jock x nerd AUs but this fic is so brilliantly funny and charming and heartwarming and it blew all my expectations out of the water and then some. i've been following it for ages and it's been on hiatus for a good while, but it updated recently and when i tell you it was the best day of my freaking life...

v. 'In Perfect Rhythm' - chalk

Band AU // complete // 50K // E

yes how surprising, a band AU fic in my faves list. anyway shut up, chalk is literally godlike in their writing and this fic was SO FUN and scratched all the itches. nothing gets me going more than awkwardly endearing izuku n rockstar katsuki

vi. 'Last Days of War' - antisora

Pacific Rim AU // complete // 44K // M

GENUINELY ONE OF HUMANITY'S BEST PIECES OF LITERATURE???? fuck. i never have the proper words for this fic, but it is SO gripping and the worldbuilding is so tight and their relationship development is so good and the CLIMAX OF THIS HAS BEEN MORE EPIC THAN HALF THE BLOCKBUSTERS I'VE SEEN. i beg you to read this even if you have never watched Pacific Rim. or maybe go watch the movie and get EDUCATED and then read this! i'm begging you, dear reader!!

vii. 'Ingenium' - crandberrycrush

Astronauts AU // complete // 85K // E

guys i love sci-fi sorry lol. this one is another brilliant fic. OP put so much blood, sweat and tears into research and it shows, it is just very intelligent and the plot itself is HEART RACING and GUTTING and THRILLING. there's a lot of POVs and it really fleshes it out, tho ofc bkdk is the main thing. happy ending obvi! it is the space/astronaut drama that i love and adore, just BKDKified now!

viii. 'The Magic in a Mirror' - totallyrottentomatoes

Magic/Circus AU // complete // 80K // E

oh how surprising, a totallyrottentomaoes fic in my faves list. anyone who knows me knows that i rec this fic all the time. it's one of my all time favourites, if not my favourite of all time lol, and it's really because of the writing and the imagery and the characterisation and the relationships b/w all the characters. it's all just so well done and MAGICAL. no joke, if i could print and bind a fic into a book, it would be this one. no notes. perfection. caters to my tastes so specifically. i could go on about this fic forever but i'll shut up for now

also highly recommend 'The Distance Between Suns' by this author - it's a high fantasy epic with TIGHT AS FUCK worldbuilding, brilliantly written, the romance is BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN, the payoffs are amazing, etc... this deserves to be published and revered

ix. 'Battle of the Bands' - roadtripwithlucifer

Band AU // complete // 168K // E

look i know i always rec this fic, i just can't help that it's like my favourite thing ever. roadtripwithlucifer and totallyrottentomatoes my BELOVEDS. the humour in this fic is so fucking yummy and brilliant, the writing is gorgeous in typical roadtrip fashion, the stakes are gripping, the climax is thrilling, the romance n yearning is INTENSE, the sex is hot as hell, the ending is so satisfying, just..... the whole package.

and while you're here, read other roadtripwithlucifer works like 'Nothing Else Fills' if you feel like destroying your heart :) an angsty and beautifully written time-travel-to-save-my-kacchan-gone-wrong war AU fic. i love OP's works but her more recent fics (eg. after battle of the bands) have had some of her best writing. i adore it when you can feel how an author has poured their soul into their work, you can always feel it in a roadtripwithlucifer work and it's just the cherry on top

x. 'Scar Tissue' - Loriqod

canon-compliant // complete // 18K // E

loriqod is another author with a characterisation that i fuck with so hard... this one was so full of that Yearning and Tension that i so vibe with. bonus points to the plots focus on bkdk's scars like yes pls more of that <3

anyway i might make a part 2 some other time, these are just the ones i grabbed from my public bookmarks. i have a lot of private ones and some of them i forgot to make public oops

hope u find smth u enjoy!

[thatloveislikea-star]

At @brighteststarz request, here are some starcest recs!!

These are just a few of my favorite complete fics, I ran out of steam because I read so much so I might do another list later 😂 a lot of these authors have WIPs that are really amazing, so check those out if you like to follow along

An absolute classic, Want, by Saras_Girl

So good, really interesting family dynamics in Rapture on the Lonely Shore by @tenrousei-kuroi, check out their other starcest too! Another one I love of theirs is Capacious as the Sea

The Mind of Madness by phantasmaraneae is so good I’ve read it so many times

Really really hot, includes James, Little Lion by @tracingpatternswrites

I thought family planning by heated_mausoleum was funny

Heat wave by heartshapedbathtub is one of the hottest things I’ve ever read, definitely read it if you like bunny stuff, they’ve written a few more fics too

Constellations series by Evandar, has two fics, both so good, also Toujours Pur is really sweet

Winner Takes All by @the-invisibility-bloke, it’s hot, it’s funny, it’s charming, it’s perfect

Pretty much everything by @faeries-withspirits , but some favorites are Cherry Waves, Morning Glory, Starbursts (bring me back to life), Down the black hole of my lust I descend, Secret Shows in Shower Stalls. Definitely check their other fics out if you like celestial quad (reg/siri/rem/james) also their WIPs are so good

Psychiatristgirl exclusively writes bangers, like And All Was Well, my pussy tastes like pepsi cola (my eyes are wide like cherry pies), and speak in tongues (til you listen). That last one is celestial quad, it’s just too good to omit

Baby, it’s cold outside by @andwaitforthespark is so so so good, their WIPs are amazing, and the house always wins only has one chapter left!

@melissamwrites is one of my favorites, especially Black Holes, please check out their other works, especially their WIPs, especially Wormhole (though it is celestial quad and not just starcest) ALSO they make podfics!!! Check those out for sure!

Underneath the mistletoe by Sirci is one of the sweetest starcest fics ever, they have some other really good fics you should check out!

I love JBlackMalfoyRosier’s smutty little Blackcest series, if you like infidelity, it’s for you!

constellations, collisions, and other ways to say love by @matthewfairhoe is a brilliant two-parter

The Arrangement by rattlesnake_black, technically its wolfstarcest, but the dynamic between Regulus and Sirius is gold, and Remus is a hot bonus

@cassetteinability has some amazing fics, like All night long, need, sweet stars, Friends and brothers and lovers (take care of me) that last one does have James involved

Make Your Dreams Come True by @goldenbi is so hottttt

[maxwell-grant]

I'm seeing several popular react to the Penguin show with "God I wanna see Batman kick his ass in the next movie". Which, for a show about a Batman villain, is probably an indication of succeess

Are you kidding me it fucking rules, there's no "probably" here, the show couldn't possibly have achieved what it set out to do harder.

I've talked with people, as Episode 7 was coming out, that they've managed to strike this perfect balance between making Oz the fun engaging protagonist to watch, and making him a villain that we'll want to face justice, opposite Sofia who tread the line between his Batman Villain arch-nemesis as well as the closest the show has to a hero. The camera loves her, the costume designers and hair stylists love her, the showrunner calls her the hero of the show, production folks who go on the podcast talk about how she was their favorite character to work on, while Oz, the protagonist, only grew darker and more despised and more fucked-up as the weeks passed, as we sit through 8 hours chipping away at all of his fun and charm and wacko comedy antics and motivations and all the scruples and principles that he turns out to have less and less of, that become less and less useful to him, until he butchers them all in the very end along with the heart of the show.

As I saw it around week 6, by the time this thing was over, Sofia would demand to be received with tragic applause and heartbreak and whooping cheers and love, but Oswald would have the children of the world booing and hissing and throwing eggs and tomatoes at him, and then asking him to come back so they can do it again. AND I WAS RIGHT, and also I WILDLY underestimated the degree to which that would be warranted, and I certainly didn't expect that, for the first time in my life, I would be unconditionally and enthusiastically on the same side as everyone who posted that Arkham scene, where Batman picks up Penguin and smashes him against a mirror, as something Battison has to do in the next movie. I couldn't believe what a stab to the heart that last episode was.

I'l get into the specifics of why this worked more on the Episode 8 breakdown and, granted, it's a lot to conciliate still, it's genuinely a strange feeling to be onboard with everyone else who wants Penguin to be flattened and crushed and humiliated, to truly hate him as a loathsome monster for the first time ever even as I love him in so many new fucked-up ways. This is, make no mistake, the good version of the Joker's Asylum one-off, Pain and Prejudice, Bullies, all those modern stories that are ultimately about nothing more than reminding you of a super-duper serious evil bastard this funny little man is, stories I generally just find too dumb and reductive and ugly and tasteless and trying so very damn hard to be scary without working for it. This was Lauren LeFranc slam dunking everyone who's picked up this character since Jason Aaron in 2007, including Jason Aaron himself, and wherever they take him in the next movie, or if they can justify another season of this, they've fully set him up more than ever as a guy we will want to be exploded by the Batmobile, that he not only fully deserves it, but must, be defeated for good.

Beyond impressed, don't think I could have ever anticipated how much I wanted this.

[sunflowerseob]

Guilty Pleasure | Haku Shota

Coming home early to surprise your boyfriend takes a turn when you find out he's got a surprise for you instead…

💜 Pairing: boyfriend!hakushota x reader

💜 Word Count: 2.8k

💜 Genre: Established relationship, smut, pwp, fluff

💜 Rating: 18+

💜 Warnings: Explicit language, mention of masturbation, Shota likes to wear reader's clothes, Shota in a skirt, making out, groping, biting, marking, hair pulling, grinding, explicit sexual content, oral sex (f receiving), scratching, praise, Shota is a good boy™️, multiple orgasms, cum eating, skirt stays on during sex, sub!Shota, needy/whiny Shota, unprotected sex (pls be safe ‼️), riding, crying, choking kink, soft ending as per my brand 🙂‍↕️

A/N: So this is a surprise gift for my best friend @hakuheartsoul 😘🎉💜 Thank you for never giving up on me even when I give up on myself, both in life and in writing 🥺 There's no one else I would rather be writing with and for and I feel so lucky that not only are you my very best friend but also one of my fave writers ever 🥹 Make sure to go read Skye's fics and support them they literally deserve the world and are such an incredible writer and storyteller 🥰 Not exaggerating when I say their Keeho fic literally changed my life 🙏🏻 And thank you so much to everyone who's been reading my stuff on here and supporting me it means so so much 🥺🩵🩵 Hope you enjoy my debut Shota fic 🫶🏻

Masterlist

You felt nothing short of absolutely giddy as you walked up to your apartment door. You had decided to come home early to surprise your boyfriend with dinner from your favorite takeout place. You hated how the two of you hadn’t been able to spend much time together lately, and you’d been missing him like crazy. You couldn’t wait to finally be able to share a meal together, and then spend the rest of the night hopefully cuddling and watching a movie or playing a game. Or whatever your boyfriend felt like doing. You honestly didn’t care as long as you got to be with him.

You couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you inserted your key and unlocked the door to your shared apartment. You expected to see your boyfriend as soon as you walked in, but the living and dining room both showed zero sign of his presence. You carefully set the food down on your dining table before calling out for your boyfriend, “Sho? Baby, are you home?”

“Y/N? Shit, hang on. Be out in just a second, baby.” he called back from your bedroom.

You just laughed and shook your head, following his voice to your shared room. You were dying of curiosity to know what was keeping him. It briefly crossed your mind that maybe he had been getting himself off, but you had never known him to be shy about you catching him in the act. Usually, he was more than happy for you to walk in because you would either help him out, or you would just watch him and it would spur him on that much more. Heat pooled low in your belly just at the thought.

You slowly poked your head into the open doorway, a gasp slipping out from between your lips at the sight that greeted you. Shota’s eyes went wide, his whole face flushing crimson as he stumbled over to where you were standing.

“Baby, wait, I swear I can explain. I didn’t think you would be home for hours, and fuck, this is so embarrassing.” your boyfriend groaned before pressing his palms to his eyes.

You were immediately reaching for him and gently pulling his hands away from his face. He was blushing so hard, and his eyes looked everywhere but at you. Your heart squeezed in your chest with affection.

“Love,” you said softly, still holding his hands, “why are you embarrassed?”

“You must think this is so weird.” he mumbled, his lips forming a frustrated pout.

“Sho, look at me.”

His eyes reluctantly met your own.

“Baby, I promise, I don’t think it’s weird. You just surprised me a little is all. I had no idea this was something you liked to do.”

It appeared your boyfriend had been raiding your closet as well as your jewelry and makeup while you were at work. You had walked in on him wearing one of your black mini skirts with his black shirt that was sleeveless on one side tucked into the waistband. He also had your black chain choker hanging from his neck, and you recognized some of your eye shadow, eyeliner, and blush adorning his features. Your boyfriend sighed before speaking again, “I just got bored one day and wanted to try on some of your stuff for fun. But then I actually ended up liking how it looked, and, yeah…”

You dropped his hands before cupping his flushed cheeks.

“Sho, I’m not upset. You know that, right?” you asked him as your thumbs lightly stroked over his skin.

“You’re not?” he queried back, and your heart nearly broke at the genuine concern in his voice.

You leaned forward to briefly brush your lips against his own in reassurance.

“No, baby, not at all. I just wasn’t expecting it. I came home to surprise you, but you surprised me instead. It was a nice little surprise too. I like seeing you in my clothes, love.” you murmured against his mouth.

Shota stole another kiss from you, making you giggle.

“You do?” he inquired, and you could feel him smiling.

You let your hands trail down to rest on his hips, bunching up the skirt in your fists. You hummed contentedly, “Yes, Sho. Look so pretty, baby.”

“I’m so happy you’re home. I’ve missed you so much.” 

He rested his forehead against yours, and you felt something in your chest loosen. It had been way too long since you’d had him close like this. His fingers were sliding up and down your bare arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

“I’ve missed you too, Sho. So fucking much.” you told him before tugging his body flush against you and reconnecting your lips in a much more heated kiss this time.

Shota groaned into your mouth, your tongue easily slipping inside to taste him properly. You could already feel him starting to harden against you, even through your skirt, and it was making you grow wetter by the second. Your boyfriend’s hands were all over you now, greedily brushing over your neck before traveling lower to slip under your shirt. You nipped at his lips when he made a grab for your still covered breasts. His fingers easily slid around to your back to undo the clasp in one fluid motion. You felt him pulling at the bottom of your shirt a moment later.

“Take…off…please…” he whined into your mouth, “Wanna see you…”

You chuckled slightly against his lips before taking a step back to shrug off your blazer.

“Someone’s eager today.” you teased him before lifting your shirt over your head.

Shota let out a soft moan as his dark eyes drank you in. You smirked, holding his gaze while you slowly slid your pants down your legs, leaving you in just your panties that were practically sticking to you at this point.

“Fuck. Baby, are you trying to kill me?” he grumbled while palming himself over the skirt, the sight making you feel borderline feral.

You crossed the space between you, pushing him down onto the bed before settling yourself in his lap. Your boyfriend’s mouth was immediately on you, leaving rough, wet kisses all over your neck and shoulders.

“Sho.” you sighed out, your fingers burying themselves in his long dark locks.

His strong arms wrapped around your back, holding you close as his lips ghosted over the tops of your breasts.

“You’re so beautiful, love.” Shota whispered against your skin, and you involuntarily rolled your hips forward.

He was fully hard now, and he hissed when you brushed against him. The stimulation wasn’t nearly enough with Shota’s skirt and your panties still in the way, but you were quickly forgetting about that when your boyfriend suddenly sucked one of your nipples into the warmth of his mouth.

“Fuuuuuck, Sho.”

His tongue teasingly flicked over your bud, and you jerked in his hold. You could feel Shota smiling as he continued making you squirm in his lap. His hands settled underneath your ass, and before you could even process what was happening, he had flipped you around so that you were now seated on the bed. Your head literally felt like it was spinning as you watched your boyfriend kneel in between your legs, the bottom of his skirt just barely brushing against the floor.

He looked up at you as he leaned forward to drag his tongue from your knee all the way up to your inner thigh, and your hands desperately gripped the sheets on either side of you. Shota pushed your legs further apart, holding them open while he sucked spots of color into your skin.

“Oh my god, Shota.” you moaned, your head falling back slightly.

When you tried to face forward again, something in the background caught your eye. You could see the abandoned dinner still sitting on the table through the open doorway. Your boyfriend clearly didn’t appreciate you getting distracted, his teeth sinking into your thigh to redirect your attention. You yelped, Shota looking back at you mischievously as his tongue soothed over the bite mark.

“Sho, baby, I, fuck, I picked up dinner from our favorite place. Maybe we should pause and eat before it gets cold.” you tried suggesting, but mainly you were just panting out words.

The man between your legs turned his head to look where your attention had been focused just moments before. You got ready to stand up from the bed, but Shota’s hands dug into your thighs harshly, holding you in place. When he looked back at you, there was something truly wicked in his eyes.

“Sho?”

“You don’t have to worry about me, baby. I’m getting ready to eat right now.”

He gave you a knowing look, and you clenched around nothing. His face hovered in front of your covered core, making your legs begin to tremble slightly.

“And fuck, I’m starving.” your boyfriend practically growled out before fully burying his face in the fabric, tonguing at you through the material.

“Fuck!” you cried out, clenching the sheets in a death grip.

He shamelessly sucked on your panties, tongue bumping against your clit and making your breath hitch. You started instinctively grinding against his face, your thin, soaked underwear barely serving as a barrier anymore. Shota finally pulled the garment to the side and put his mouth on you fully, and you jolted above him. Your thighs threatened to close around his head, and you didn’t miss the way the muscles in his arms strained to hold you open for him as his tongue dipped past your folds.

“Fuck, baby, love this cunt.” Shota hummed against you, “Always taste so sweet for me.”

The way his tongue hungrily fucked into you let you know just how much he had been missing you lately. He ate you out like he had something to prove. And whatever it was, he definitely was getting his point across.

Your fingers released the bed sheets, instead finding home in his hair as you held him against you. Shota grunted into your core, his nose brushing against your swollen bud, making your nails scrape against his scalp. Your legs spasmed in his hold, and one of your feet suddenly brushed over the erection straining against your skirt. Your boyfriend moaned between your legs as you pressed your foot against him harder. It was the only way you could reciprocate at the moment, but the way his hips bucked against your touch told you it was definitely having an effect on him.

“Sho, baby, fuck. Always so good for me, love. Such a good fucking boy.” you praised him, and he groaned into your cunt in response.

“Shit. Love being your good boy. Always wanna be good for you, baby.”

He really emphasized his words when his lips wrapped around your clit, making you start to see stars.

“Fuck. Shota. Oh my god.”

You glanced down and could see hand prints starting to form across your skin from how hard he was gripping your thighs. His tongue steadily flicked over your bud, and your hips rolled harshly against his face. The next time your foot applied pressure to his groin, you felt a small wet spot through the skirt. Knowing that you were both equally getting off on this had you moaning obscenely above him.

You were so close, and the moment Shota decided to sneak a peek up at you, his mouth still sucking at your clit, you were fucked. The drunk, fucked out look on his face paired with your makeup smeared underneath his eyes had you coming almost instantly.

Your boyfriend took his time lapping up your release, until you grew too sensitive and pushed his head away. You were still trying to come down from your incredible high as he got to his feet to stand in front of you. You could immediately see the small stained spot on the skirt, his cock tenting the fabric and making you groan at the sight.

Shota was in a total daze as you reached for him to pull him down to claim his mouth. You could taste yourself on his tongue as he weakly licked into your mouth. You tugged his bottom lip with your teeth, “Clothes off, baby. On your back for me. Gonna fuck you, Sho. Gonna make my good boy feel so fucking good.”

Your boyfriend whimpered, and you felt the shiver that ran through him. He clumsily pulled his shirt over his head, and your eyes ogled his muscular torso. He was so hot. And sometimes you couldn’t believe he was all yours.

His hands went to the waistband of your skirt, and before you could stop yourself, your own hands were shooting out to halt his movements. Shota looked down at you with questioning eyes.

“Leave it on.” you instructed simply, but firmly, feeling nearly possessed by the desire coursing through you.

Your boyfriend’s entire face flushed at the command, and you needed him so bad, you could barely stand it. His cheeks got pinker and pinker as he shyly slid his boxers out from under the skirt and down his legs. You were practically salivating as you gestured for him to lay back on the bed. He situated himself, refusing to look at you as your eyes raked down his body.

“Fuck, Sho. You look so perfect like this, baby. So pretty in my clothes, love.”

He finally tried to meet your eyes, the flush on his face immediately spreading down his neck and chest. His cock poked out from underneath the skirt, and he looked painfully hard. You carefully moved to straddle his waist, your hands smoothing over his hips. You dragged a finger up his body to tug at the chain around his neck, and you felt him twitch under you in response.

“You ready for me to fuck you, baby? Make you feel good, Sho Sho.” you cooed, and the use of that particular nickname had your boyfriend letting out a whine underneath you.

“Fuck, please.” came his breathless reply.

You leaned down to kiss him sweetly as you positioned yourself to hover over him. Your hands reached down to lift up the skirt to expose him fully before you started to slowly sink down onto him.

“Fuckfuckfuck.” Shota hissed, his back arching off the bed slightly.

You groaned as you rolled forward, hands fisting the skirt and further bunching up the material.

“Feel so good, baby. So good for me, Sho Sho.” you murmured as you started to ride him in earnest.

Shota’s eyes squeezed shut, turning into a moaning and panting mess underneath you. You switched to grinding on his cock, nice and slow, relishing the feeling of him inside you. Your boyfriend’s eyes fluttered open, and you immediately noticed that they were wet with tears that were threatening to spill over. One of your hands moved to slide under his choker, fingers splayed out over his throat. The moment you gave a slight squeeze, fat tears trailed down his cheeks, making his makeup even more of a mess. But all you could think was that he had never looked so beautiful.

“Are you gonna be my good boy and come for me, Sho Sho?”

He whimpered and nodded his head, fresh tears cascading down his face. You leaned down to kiss the wetness away as you picked up your pace again. Shota’s hands were flailing at his sides, looking for something to help anchor himself. You reached out to intertwine your hands before pinning them down on either side of his head. He desperately fucked up into you as you rode him harder, panting into his mouth as you tried to chase his lips.

The way he was twitching inside you let you know that he was close, and you honestly weren’t far behind him.

“Fuck, love, c-close.” he whined out, chest rising and falling in rapid succession.

“There’s my good boy. Come for me, Sho Sho.” you beckoned sweetly as you peppered kisses all over his face.

He cried out, nails digging into your joined hands. You leaned back to look down at him, and you clenched around him at the way his eyes rolled back when he came inside you. His name fell from your lips as your own orgasm crested over you. You collapsed on top of him immediately after, Shota’s arms slowly winding around your back to hold you close.

“So… I guess you really do…like when I wear your clothes…huh?”

You giggled, nuzzling into his neck and planting a kiss there.

“Baby, next time you wanna play dress up, please let me know. I have lots of ideas. There’s so much you would look good in.”

“Can I try one of your dresses next time?” he asked, voice sounding sleepy.

You moaned softly, “Shota, are you trying to make me feral? Again.”

He laughed underneath you, lips brushing against your hair.

“I love you. Hey, can we go eat? I’m actually hungry now.”

You burst into another fit of giggles.

“You’re just insatiable today, aren’t you? Yes, my love, we can go eat. I love you too, Sho. So, so much.”